Perfection and housework

All my life i grew up listening to my mom say abt something that is is perfect or not perfect etc.So my idea of good is perfect.All the time I try doing something, I want it to be perfect.If it is not perfect, then it is as good as zero.Nothing in between.I get disappointed because something is half done.So in when doing house work if i don't have the time, to fold  the laundry, i 'll wait till i get time enough(one stretch),because it will be half done and i have aversion to half done things.Laundry gets accumulated and the one stretch time needed becomes more and more and becomes more difficult.Now even if i have the time, i won't do it, coz the laundry to be folded looks like a mini mountain.But it has to be done anyways, i spend half a day of a nice week end day folding laundry.Now i absolutely hate folding laundry more than ever and this keeps happening.This is the normal in our house.I recently saw a website, where they said let go of your perfectionism.This came as a shocker, i actually had to read twice.Yes.After reading a while i gave in and wanted to try this new concept.Now before starting a thing, i think it doesn't have to be perfect, and true i do little, whatever i can.My house looks far better for obvious reasons.We have never in our life associated the word perfectionism with negative.But there it is.This woman from that website talks like it is an ugly word.Come to think of it, only when i let go of my perfectionism, i am happy with what i have done, rather than beating myself up for not getting everything done.All  though my life, when someone said i do something slow but very very clean, i felt so proud, now i understand that it means, u 'll not get much done in time...If you are a perfectionist, try to let go of your perfectionism and see yourself shine or to be exact, see yourself to be happy abt you.....

Marriage...

Marriage is like glass.It doesn't crack it shatters at the slightest disturbance and is never the same again.Some parents in ad verdantly, mess  up their kid's marriage very early.This happens in most families like a cycle.No difference there in caste, creed....educated,uneducated,rich,poor....There is some jealous stemming in every parents' (especially mothers') mind.But if they let it grow it becomes the poison tree and affects generations.First the parent set is affected.They fill their son's mind with rubbish abt his wife.Then comes a big fight and separation  Then the parents realize that their son actually need a woman in his life.So they get them back together but they always hold a loser's grudge against the girl.Now they think that girl is cunning because she made their son want her.So she gets all the secret(read bad) attentions of the in laws when the son is not around.Whatever then all grudges will go away ones the girl gets pregnant and promptly come back when she goes to her parents' place for delivery and then life goes on.Now the woman's mind is not much on the hubby.It's with the kid.So fights start coming up between them.Sure will come because al bad things  said about this girl by his parents comes into the guy's mind now.So it is upto the smart girls to tackle these things.But never in their lifes will the husband and wife frankly get to love each other.Who suffers is the kid who grow up with parents who have loveless marriage.I pity the kids and no one else...

/..I today(17 june 2012) read an article in  'The Hindu' newspaper in page 12....The article is titled My nagging wife, my doctor and a costly scan...(Actually first time my eyes read it as costy scam...).Once i read that article something to happened to us, actually to my daughter danced in fromt of my eyes...I wanted to write it in my blog, so that i could expose the danger we are in because we are illiterates as for as medical field is concerned...Yes!!! illiterates, have you ever been able to read anything a doctor?...No? illiterates we are right?

Good doctors and bad doctors :

So i 'll come to my story...After getting married and not being able to conceive a child i was worried  and  after 3 gynecologists telling nothings wrong but they would like to see me regularly...not to mention the scans that come on packages...One doctor's office said when i called that they had a dte only after  one and half months and they called me in a couple of months to let me know that they have a cancellation and if i went in right then they will be able to help me...nice business tricks...After 4 yrs of these ordeals, I finally found a doctor who found what the problem was and in a second and said if it was there then it has been there since birth and showed it to me too.I now figured that I was scammed all along but was happy to have finally found a good doctor, lost weight of 12 kg, got pregnant in her hands...The good doctor id Dr.Vidyamani...But my daughter was born preterm in 7 months and was shifted to KR hospital..Dr.Janaki Viswanathan saved my baby's life(My baby's ).These two doctors are like Gods in my life and I respect them and only because of people like them exist, doctors still are considered Gods by the public...I noticed that both these doctors have no ego...When my father in law thanked Dr.Janaki for saving the baby she showed her hands upwards saying God....
Then we took our daughter to Dr.J.Prakash...he is a very doctor too...but his the long waiting time in the middle of working day didn't work for us...So we now have started seeing Dr.Ratna, another good doctor too...

Support secularism.......

This riots in Assam are spreading to different states, even to the usually safe southern states.
The papers say that more than 16000 people have fled.I know north eastern people from restaurants, beauty parour and a road side momo shop....All these people make a honest living and are hard working...They are very professional...Why is this happening?...I can't see the kids(a brother and sister from the north east) selling their momos in the road side a juice shop is closed 'coz 2 kids who worked there are from the north east...Very polite kids...The girl selling momos is my little daughter's friend...My daughter calls her 'momos aunty' and loves to go to this momos shop.One day this girl came to me in the road and said hi and spoke to my daughter and explained to me that she knows my daughter from her regular visits to their momos shop with her father and i nodded and smiled and then after she left my 2 yr old(then one and half) pointed to her and said
"momos aunty"....I can't see them now, it's empty there it hurts to see that.I am wondering whether
they were frightened and left for their home town....Why should that sense of fright come to their minds....What did they ever do wrong to anyone...they are honest, hard working, friendly people who thought they were happy and safe and were making a living and my mind races to think how long is it before it happens to us...IS Bangalore Safe anymore? Is any place safe at all? I can't imagine this place being not safe for anyone?Makes me wonder if secularism is the way?Does India need a religion? 

Bragging....... abt my little one...

My little one is my life and her name is Prarthana...Yeah she was born by prayers i think...After 5 years of trying and praying and bargaining with God I got her...I was so desperate for her to happen i prayed i will put turmeric and kumkum in every step of the Tirumala hills....And that's not the only bargain i made and i am blessed with a cute little angel...

She is a preterm kid...born in 7 months...and was hospitalized for 28 days...exactly today two years ago she came into this house, just 1.5kg just bones covered with skin but a very active baby...That was the happiest day in my life...cos i am getting my little princess into my house but mostly because my girl's ordeal ended...Ordeals like the daily blood draws and the constant drip of something... and the incubator... loneliness... yeah lonely cos we were only allowed twice in one day and that too were not allowed to stay long... i don't know how difficult it was for her and hope she doesn't remember that trauma...But i will not forget it until my last breath for sure...

The day i was discharged from my hospital i went straight not to home but to the hospital were my daughter was and i went inside the NICU (only one parent is allowed at a time) and i almost cried when i cudn't locate my baby out of the 24 babies... mothers rushed to their babies just as soon as the doors opened and went in and was blinking looking around...and a very helpful duty doctor rushed to me and asked if it was my first visit and asked my name and walked me to my baby and told me i can touch her, talk to her and i gently touched her and i was standing there for an hour....
Then everyday we wake up at 5.00, my mom pack my lunch and me and hubby left home at 7.00 in the morning, went to the hospital then stayed in a hotel room(not allowed to stay in the hospital) making trips of 3 km every 3 hrs for every feed and finally after the evening visit at 6 to 7 we head home and reach home by 8 or 8.30 depending upon traffic and between this from time to time there will be some kind of scare...now on my sweet little thing will be just with me..

Strictly no visitors...Every feed with mothers feed plus lactogen and she 'll be asleep and have to wake her up which is the worst part, wash her dress by hand by myself, the cleaning, sterilising, bathing the baby and to look back i don't know how i handled this at all.....God i guess...Then so many things like colic, urinary tract infection and a Voiding cysto urethrogram with general ansthesia she went through so much...

But she is the most active and happy baby i have ever encountered...She is the smartest among kids her age...She is 2 and can identify all colors, and say numbers upto 15, couple of rhymes by heart and can identify alphabets upto 'G'(i taught only upto G)...we don't force her to learn anything.....yeah and she also knows to say things for fun and scare me...like if i say there is a lizard there don't go then she 'll go near that place and come running to me coming to tell me that lizard bit her....and if i am scared she 'll laugh like anything...

I recently ordered a couple of books from this site hoopos.com...I really really like their service...I am not sure but I think that's a new shopping website...Hats off...And for kids book that is the best site...

Independence Day.........

Why is it considered normal  in India that we don't celebrate our independence day...Surely you are not telling me that having a national holiday and sitting in front of our televisions is celebrating...Have we ever wished anybody "Happy Independence Day"... Is it even possible for us to wish someone 'Happy Independence Day '  in our country without attracting a strange look... This is what we are teaching our next generation...The responsibility is our's...but the Govt can also help...I think Government should take the responsibility to bring together in each city...Is not independence day a celebration of independence by people...Our leaders go hoist the flag with a march from NCC 0r NSS or school kids and go home.But gone are the days when people gathered to see the political leaders hoisting the flag...nowadays it's just party members who want to see their  leaders...So Govt can take the following actions to ensure that public attend these functions and enjoy themselves and introduce the culture of celebration...Public functions should be organised in each city....After flag hoisting there should be attractive celebrations, food of good quality and great quantity, Cultural entertainment programs(procure a couple of cine stars if you have to), Drinking water and Restrooms...Small shops...some entertainment for kids and most of all  kindly request TV channels to only relay patriotic songs and programs and none of the other regular stuff...No mega serial especially...It's pathetic that it should come to this... but what is worse is that we do nothing about that and let that attitude continue....And Govt can also encourage private shops or big brands to conduct these celebrations......Some how unglue our people from the television just for this one day...If we are successful in this we can try the same for Republic Day too...

Child abuse...

30th june 2012
Bangalore,India


Child Abuse : Child abuse is the most horrible thing that can ever happen to anyone...It's a deep shameful thought, which totally lowers the victim's self esteem and confidence... Since the victim are  children (means they are innocent and trust everyone), they are usually not able to understand and rationalize the fact that the animal that is doing this horrible act is at fault... They rather think that it is their own mistake (coming with this guy hoping for a chocolate...chocolate is bad...or mom says so... I shouldn't have desired the chocolate, now it is my fault) is how they think...And half the time they won't report this to a parent because it is very embarrassing for them to speak about this and they really don't want to end up answering why they thought it was good to go with uncle for a chocolate when mommy has said 'no chocolates so many times'...and they think they can deal with this themselves...I know this first hand and never told my mom...At 9, i thought i could handle it and i guess i sort of suppressed it and i thought i have dealt with it well without having to explain things to my mom and she telling my grand mother and the whole family thereby... I felt safe having avoided this man and when the man left from the neighborhood i thought that i have solved my problem...

But I soon developed an aversion for people touching me, especially strangers, even mom and dad, uncle, aunts...It was like a known rule to people close to me...everyone thought i just don't like it and no one guessed an aversion, I 'll never behave voilent if someone touched my i 'll just break myself free smiling and twisting...But i was careful when with friends...I went to a girls school...If a friend wanted to hold my hand
or give a hug i 'll put up with it(I didn't want to hurt my friends' feelings...)..I was very outgoing and social and had many friends and this incident stopped bothering my mind....

Then after college (co ed but you can choose to or  not to talk with boys.. i mingled well with no issues)...
However when i got married the whole game changed, i realized that i where i didn't have problem with boys  my age or my husband whom i loved, i had problem with every adult man(these are men in the house i am married into) in the household.. i would not even sit next to a older man.. my age guys are okay(i didn't feel threatened with my age kids)...and as expected soon enough people began to notice and one day i pushed a person's(he is a good person and with no bad intentions) hand from my shoulder rudely.......And every male and their wives in the family i am married into are mad at me because they think i am implying they have bad intentions...and I honestly don't blame them.... if they knew the reason, they would understand, won't they...
And i clearly have no intentions of sharing my embarrassing history... God knows it's difficult to just write with my face hidden behind the walls of internet....


I am still like that and have overcome some of this... i am embarrassed to tell my husband that i might need help to get over it... I have a daughter whom i never leave alone with strangers.. so i don't go to work... i hope to protect her and be there for her and in case something unfortunate happens, i will know.....and i know what to do...I still have the fear of men and i hesitate to talk and i have years more to live(i guess) and i am worried about interacting with people for my daughter(who is just like me, extremely social)

Why i am writing is there may be parents out there who didn't have this bad experience and who have doubts that their kids might be going through something like this... i want these parents to understand that if they hesitate to take action it will spoil your child's whole life...This may continue as a life long scar if proper counselling is not given at the right time...


1.If you see any uneasiness in your kid's gait, ask them and tell them it is okay to tell mommy             anything...


2Make it a point to discuss your child's day with him or her....You have to open up too..you can talk about your day telling what you did from morning till evening.. she 'll do the same too


3.If your child refuses to go with any person, don't force her and try to discuss the reason with her...like casually starting with y she/he thinks this person is bad....if they express fear or disgust , please quit right there and consult ur child's  pead(Kids sometimes feel more comfortable with someone whom they don't have to encounter everyday after confiding in them and more ever these people are trained)

4.Teach Good and Bad touches....

I am feeling i should write this article after following this news about a French national raping his daughter since 2010 and his wife has been waiting to evidence to get him caught until recently... I understand her attitude that he should be punished but why should the girl suffer all along.. When she comes to know first about this incident, She should not have exposed her daughter further....I am not blaming her...I feel angry that the police is not being supportive to her in this case but i am mad at her too for exposing the

Forgive and Forget......... really...

My case :

Do you find it difficult to forgive people who wronged you from the depth of your heart?You have come to the right place.I had this problem too.It was too difficult for me to forgive people who did wrong by me.Some incident happened in my life.I was wronged.The person responsible agreed it was his/her mistake and stopped doing that.This should be enough for any normal person to forgive this person and carry on with their lives.But me...no.I continued speaking to this person as if that episode never happened.Being polite and kind when i saw him/her in person.So others would think I am a very forgiving person.On the contrary my mind would cling and burn at the injustice done to me.Because of him/her I lost this oppurtunity.Whenever I see this person, after being a polite guest or hostess, at my leisure I just fume in my mind and feel very bad and vent out(as i call it) to my close ones.They tried in vain to make me let go of that issue.Until one day I realised that person whoever did this to me,thinks I have forgiven and forgotten that episode.Now he/she doesn't feel guilty or troubled whenever he/she has to meet me and move along with me.He/she might even think I am a good person.This puts him/her absolutely at peace.He/she is a happy person.

But on the other hand, here I am, troubled.This is not fair.He/she did the wrong thing.He/she is happy.I was the victim.I am still reliving that injustice every time i meet his person.I go through this agony everytime i see this perosn.This is exactly why it is very important to forgive people and let go things.

I earlier used to say " I will never forgive this person for what he/she has done to me and what oppurunity he/she made me loose" as if me not forgiving is very important to him and not to me.But now I realise you forgive some one for your own good not for their sake.This is when I found out that forgiving is not that easy.All the while I have been thinking,"I am not forgiving this person for my own reasons,but if i wanted to forgive him i could do it just like that".How wrong.Then certain things happened to teach me slowly how to forgive.That comes in the next post.

Bannerghatta National Park...

Favorite place of outing for people who live in south bangalore...
It's a good sized place with a good set of animals...
There's a butterfly park and wild safari is available too..
Elephants are there...Thought i doubt it is legal the elephant attendants get money and put kids on the elephants and sometimes elephant safari is available(Safari must be legal)...There's Cheetah.....a small park...and yeah good place to spend half a day or more..Kids will love this place...

Outside the park there are some shops for snacks and drinks...plastic covers are not allowed inside thepark and you 'll get paper bags and be asked to empty your snack(lays,kurkure etc) into the given paper bag and only then 'll be allowed...but not a good pace to have snacks...what with so many smart monkeys...hat shops and kids toy shop.. and some giant wheel and that kind of stuff and a big bus terminus...Really fun place...

But please don't wander off the park into the reserve you might get lost and there are wild animals...in case you want to you can contact jungle lodges and resorts for a night stay...pretty costly...but worth it if you are looking for a unique experience....

Jayanagar Shopping Complex........

I have been in Bangalore for the past 7 years...I love bangalore...not beause of the malls and pub culture here but by simpler places that can make you feel good...better than any mall or pub ever can..One such place is Jayanagar Shopping Complex...Been visiting this place for 7 years now....This is a place where you can actually shop and buy things and not feel a pang in the heart when paying the bill...I used to go to the railway reservation center to book tickets and it used to be so much fun.Never before in my life i thought booking tickets would be so much fun....Coz you get to do the booking and just do a ful round of  shopping...All shops sell things in affordable prices... Just walking around the shops with pooja items,flowers,fresh vegetables,fruit shops,stationary shops,fancy stores,dress shops,baby stores,toy stores........After the shopping you can have some really good snacks here...just sit on the benches facing a busy road and munch on the snacks...I remember going there often with 3 friends, chatting, munching and it is my best memory of bangalore.No cafes or parks can beat this place....

You just come out of the complex and believe me it is not over yet, all roads around the place have really good shops, you can bargain and get something for the half the price(the actual price)...You name it you get it kind of place...There are small shops and big shops as well..You have big hotels and small hotels...

Sweet Foodie memories :

Cool joint used to sell tomato soup for 5 Rs... I should say once upon a time....the best tasting creamy tomato soup....can you imagine 3 packets of good tasting popcorn in bangalore for Rs.10....Yeah not long back just 3 years ago...My friend(she's from bangalore) told me to get a packet of that yummy popcorn and she also added 10 rs...so i took a 10 rupee note from my purse and gave it to the shopkeeper and he gave one and i walkeda back fast then the shopkeeper called me back and gave 2 more packs and i was trying to explain to him how i gave only 10 rs and heared my friends laughing hard at my expense and went to them and didn't expect much from it but the taste was awesome...

There used to be a small hotel kind of place where you get pav baji and chinese food right under the stairs...Awesome pav baji...You can eat there only if you don't think about hygine...Thats okay for me...

I go to malls too...but the smile that is put on your face happens only here...Here you can hear shopkeepers telling you, pick that dress akka looks good on the kid, pick that polish....okay go buy that i 'll throw this in for free.... and they actually talk to you pleasantly(of course to get business done)...Which is so different from the very professional way of trained people asking you...may I help you mam in big brand shops....I prefer the chaos of the smaller shops.....

If you are new to bangalore try this place you 'll get a feel of the city underneath it's pubs and malls....This is real bangalore......

Dowry....

Dowry deaths are one of the saddest reality of our society...

So What is Dowry?

Any property or valuable security given by the bride or groom or their parents to the other party during the negotiations of marriage or marriage or after marriage is considered dowry...

Both giving and receiving dowry is wrong...So is asking for it....

Dowry laws in India :

There are strict laws in India against dowry such as

1. The Dowry Prohibition Act
2.IP Section 406 related to criminal breach of trust
3.IP Section 304B related to death caused by dowry
4.IP Section 498A related to relatives subjecting the married person to cruelty...


Society and Dowry :

So do these laws have any effect at all in our Indian popuation...I would say no.Every parent thinks of giving dowry for their daughter as a big prestige issue and a very important factor for their daughter to live happily ever after.And every father of a son thinks it would be a personal insult to his son and his family if someone offered no dowry to their son....Yeah educated, uneducated, rich, poor alike think in this fashion and what can these laws do if the situation is like this.Do these laws help at all? Yes they do...They come in when a girl is asked for more dowry and the girl's parents cannot afford to give this dowry and the girl is abused because of this....That's when FIRs happen and things get heated and proceed straight...Though it sounds like the law doesn't do much it really plays a very significant part when girls and their parents are out through too much stress.
One more thing is Section IP Section 304B says that if death happens to a woman within 7 years of marriage  the law interferes..But guys demand money when the need arises not necessarily within 7 years...buying a vehicle, buying a home, doing business investments... men need money all the time...

Misused :

These strict laws are misused...Sometimes women use this act to incriminate husbands and their relatives when the actual problem is not dowry too..that's so wrong.....When discards in families become big and becomes a fight, both party are angry at each other for ruining their respective lives...A scorned woman can easily do this...So at the time of marriage things that were given happily as a gift can be called as a dowry in a second...There should be something done about this...May be like a dowry complaint is taken only if it is given within a month of making the transaction...

Best Way out :

Best way out of this dowry issue is the people themselves.Stop taking.Stop giving.Because you give loads of money that guy is not going to be nice to your daughter...he 'll forget the money rt there as soon it reaches his pocket.If he is a decent guy he is going to treat your daughter nice irrespective of the money you give...If not your daughter is better without him...Once this is incorporated in the society and giving stops and taking(not asking) dowry becomes an indecent thing to do, life will be good for everyone involved...And please resist the urge to force your daughter to the first guy whose horoscope matches....minds should match...

Cleaning one room of your house daily....

Cleaning one room in your house daily makes it easier for you when you have company and want to clean...I do it like this...you can give it a try too....works for me....lets see if it works for you and according to the time you have you can select what step you are going to do and what you are going to do...Even if you do one step your house will be one step better so don't worry about not having the time to do everything on the list...just  customize it........

Mondays I clean living room :

1.Change the covers on the divan...
2.Wash the sofa covers...
3.Wipe window sill
4.Wipe the main door
5.Wipe clean the TV,speakers and TV units
6.Give the walls and ceilings a quick clean
7.Vaccum Sofa

Tuesdays I clean the hallway and dining room :

1.Clear the dining room table, wipe clean and shine it with shiner.
2.Clear the fridge,wipe it clean
3.Wipe the window sill
4.Wash the washbasin closest to the dining room table
5.Organize the laundry bin
6.Clear and wipe the oven table...(I have this in my hallway due to lack of space in kitchen)

Wednesdays I clean the pooja room and one room

1.Wednesday is good for washing pooja lamps and items..
2.Wipe clean all picture frames and statues
3.Wipe book shelf
4.Wipe window sill
5.Wipe table
6.Wipe balcony door

Thursdays I clean the Kitchen and guest bedroom :

1.Wipe window sill
2.Wipe down all cabinet doors and draw doors
3.Arrange things neatly in the draws and shelves and make a shopping list whie you are at it
4.Wipe down the stove nicely with warm soap liquid, including behind the stove
5.Change oil containers and wash them
6.Pour hot water in the drain and scrub your sink well

1.In guest bedroom, make the bed, change sheets if needed,check the wardrobe
2.Clean the bathroom
3.Clean the balcony

Fridays I clean the MBR:

1.Change Sheets in MBR(since I have a king size bed changnig sheets is not easy so I put a cover sheet and change that alone daily and change the main sheet once a week)
2.Give the clothes in the wardrobe  a once over and they 'll be neat again
3.Clean baby toys
4.Wipe window sill
5.Wipe bedside table
6.Wipe crib
7.Arrange make up stuff and wipe the mirror

Saturdays I clean the bathrooms and balconies :

1. clean the common bathroom and MBR bathroom
2. Wipe the railings and doors in the balconies
3.Wipe down shoe rack and take hubby's socks for washing...soak them while you are at it
4.Clean the dust bin...scrub well and rinse it off with some dettol added water
5.Wash socks and kitchen clothes(If you use one cloth daily in the kitchen 7 clothes may be)
6.Wash door mats if you feel up to it.

Father's Day Post Dedicated to my Father....

I recently happened to come across a book Strong fathers strong daughters in my house and when confronted my husband confessed to have bought it and asked me to read it and get him some pointers....Can you believe this...So i began reading the book and I could relate with most things as a daughter to my father...The book tells that fathers have to be strict and for being strict your daughters will love you...If someone had told me this before 10 years I would have laughed but now I really feel proud that my father was strict with me.I grew up in a traditional tamil family...My father never allowed me to watch english movies...I have ony watched 2 engish movies until my marriage one is Jurrasic park and the other one is Baby's day out...Of this jurrasic park was played in a friend's house.I  still remember turning to catch my father's eyes once i understood that an english movie was about to be played, and my father nodded his approval proudly(Only now i recognize that it was pride i saw)...Where ever i went during my pre marriage years i had to get my father's approval.It used to feel like i was in jail....But very soon after marriage in some conversation my husband told a friend that i was not allowed english movies in my parent's house. I didn't feel ashamed like i usually did with my friends, instead i felt like i was protected.And after my engagement and before my marriage my sister in law came to my parent's house a couple of times and asked me to go to her parent's house with her.My father strictly said no...I was so mad at him...but soon after marriage i realized that he had had me hold my pride nicely and that it was very very important.

To my father :

I Love my Father.....I have resented my father, fought with him, hurt him at some occasions but I would without any doubt tell that he is the best father........He is the best of best...I have seen fathers of my friends and other fathers over the years...I have seen many fathers who have their daughter's best interest in mind...but some of these fathers failed to deliver but my father did succeed...He is a man of few words whom I owe everything in my life...He truly knew how to make me feel like a princess...We didn't have much growing up and I realize that only now when i am out of his wings...He never ever made me feel less than a princess not for a moment....I don't feel comfortable sharing this with him...He's not that into cards and gifts.I am just letting the whole world know.Happy Father's Day Pa...........I love you so much.....
My Mother's father is a great father too...whatever he was he was a great father...And i know this good man who is my daughter's father who is striving every moment to be the best father any girl will ever have...Good luck and best wishes to him too...

To all Father's :

Being a father is a unique experience.It's incomparable.Enjoy Fatherhood...Happy Father's Day...

Doddamallur...

I am really not a temple person but i love visiting this Navaneedha Krishna temple in Doddamallur.I like Tirupati  temple and after that i like this temple.God here is Aprameya Swami , Aravindavalli thayar  and  Navaneedha Krishna...Temple is open from 8 to 12.30 in the morning and 5.30 to 8.30 in the evening.
First time I visited this place I was trying to have a child and one good friend of my father and father in law took us to this temple.I was really cynical.I thought what is one more temple.We visited this place and now this is one of place i want to visit again and again.Takes one and half hours from bangalore.If you happen to start early in the morning, you can go to bidadi for the famous "thatta idli"...Spongy soft idlis served with butter served with chutneys and the go to the temple.Here if you are praying for baby you are not supposed to tie a "thottil" and pray.You pray first, you get and then go back with baby to give the thottil.Ambegal(Krishna in crawling pose with one leg lifted up)Krishna is a mesmerising sight.I want to see and see and see him.The feeling of peace you get in the place is something very few temples provide.Atleast it is like that for me.I get the same feeling in Tirupati just near the God itself  and Meenakshi temple in Madurai when sitting near the lotus tank and Subramanya Swami temple in Thiruparankundram near the God....No where else i have sensed that tranquil feeling...If you choose a saturday and stay till you can have food in Narayana Sevai....Or there is kamat Nivas and nice places nearby for food....You can go back home or go to Mysore from there...

House keeping made easy for working women

Some useful tips in house keeping :

Okay the pointers below are how to do it and the paragraph below the pointers show you how to do it easily and fast....

#1 .
To maintain your bathroom tiles :
       Rinse off the soap or shampoo fallen on the wall tiles after you shower
       Sweep away excess water staying on the bathroom floor tiles after each shower
       Once a week put some soap liquid and wash it.
 Your bathroom will stay really neat...It takes very little effort but should be done regularly.

#2
TO maintain your fridge :
      Check in everyday to see what is there and what is not.
      Keep all things where you can see.(for eg if you put a small pack of something behind a big vessel you                                                                                                    
                                              might totally forget it until you remove the big vessel.)
      Remove everything and wipe fridge atleast once a month with water and vinegar
      Have a deodorizer or put a couple tbspn of sugar in a bowl and leave it in the fridge.(Sugar is carbon &
                                                                     will absorb odour and keep your fridge smelling neutral)
      De frost in time if you have to.

#3
TO do your laundry :
       Do one load of laundry,one load of folding everyday
       Fix a particular time of the day daily so you don't forget to do it.
       Whenever you remove laundry from the machine, leave the door of the machine open for half an hour
        Use descaing agent whenever needed.
      Once in 2 weeks remove the filter and clean.

#4
To keep the toilets clean
        Just clean it with  brush before you take a shower.that's what i do.Nothing big...just a swipe across
        and flush it...
        Once a week clean using some cleaning agent.
        Now if you have cleaned it daily, the weekly once won't be a big deal and your toilets will be clean at  
                                                                                                                            any point of time.
#5
To maintain your bed :
        Make your bed daily in the morning within a hour after waking up.
        Ideally sheets are to be changed everyday.But whenever you do don't miss on a changing sheet day.
        Fluff your pillows.
        Vaccum clean your bed as needed
        Wipe clean the cot once in two weeks


Ok now it might sound like a so much work...Yeah of course clean house doesn't come easily.Like weight loss there's no easy way...But the good thing is if you try to incorporate every one of these in your daily routine works...It'll be very easy...

For ex :

1.Make your bed as soon as you wake up from it.
2.Swipe your toilet before shower
3.Rinse your bathroom after bath
4.Start the laundry as you start or finish your coffee(fill the laundry every night before bed...so u can just switch it on in the morning)
5.Do your fridge as you start to cook.

And during weekends you can spend a little extra time on each step...
You are doing great...

Will come up with more elaborate stuff soon.
5.

Women Empowerment....

We talk so much about women...But if we think of the facilities for women who undergo domestic violence...there's nothing i guess.Lets say if a woman is abused by her husband in bangalore....what happens next? Where does she go? Is there a number which she can call and say she needs help.I honestly don't know that's why i am asking...Anybody who has an idea please post here...If a woman is abused, she might pack her stuff and go to a friend's place...but is the abusive husband going to leave her alone?...no...he 'll follow her and bring her back...And kids how do u leave them or where do you take them....How does these things work in India...There are numbers in India to which you can call in cases of child abuse or suicidal thoughts.Just these numbers are not made very public...These numbers should be short and be out inside the minds of people...Or there should be a common three digit number to which you can call and tel the nature of your probem and you will be put through to the concerned department.Your comments are welcome...If you know about any of these numbers and the way these things work, please do share....It 'll be useful for someone...

I love to read books and i wud like to share some book titles with you.I mostly read chick lit, contemporary novels,romance novels,thriller novels.Mostly I go by authors or newyork times best seller or a friend's suggestion. Knowledge is give and take so if you have a nice read that's not mentioned here please leave a name, someone will find it helpful...

And I am pretty sure you know this...but i am telling this, in case there is someone who don't know to do this.Every time you look for a book to read and find a title, do to amazon site and go to books department and type the books' name...You get reviews...you can read these reviews and then decide if you want to go with it or not....Mostly amazon reviews are dependable...

Barbara cartland : If i find this author's name in the cover, i 'll just close my eyes and take the book.Mostly her books are romantic and historic...my fav combo...You get drifted to a different time and place.

Catherine Coulter : She is one more author I am addicted to.She has written both historic romance series novels and modern FBI novels.She adds the right amount of salt and pepper to her books.

These are my personal favourite authors...I enjoy reading any book written by them.Rest all i read reviews for induvidual books and go by that..

1.God Father                                  Mario Puzon
2.Angels and demons                      Dan Brown
3.Digital fortress                              Dan Brown
4.The Da vinci code                        Dan Brown - controversial
5.The Firm                                      John Grisham
6.Master of the game                      Sidney Sheldon
7.If Tomorrow comes                     Sidney Sheldon
8.The Alchemist                              Paulo coelho
9.Lord of the rings                          JRR.Tolkien
10.The hobbit                                 JRR.Tolkien
11.Love story                                 Erich Segal
12.Man,Woman and child               Erich Segal
13.five point someone                     Chetan Bhagat
14.Paranormal Experiences             Dr.Mehra Shrikande - check out reviews before reading
15.The Immortals of Meluha           Amish
16.Plum Series                               Janet Evanovich
17.Ghost story                               Jim Butcher
18.Happy Birthday                        Danielle steel
19.Full black                                 Brad Thor
20.Then Came you`                       Jennifer Weiner
21.Before I go to sleep                  S.J.Watson
22.Maine                                      Courtney Sullivan
23.State of wonder                       Ann patchette
24.Room                                      Emma Donoghue
25.Cutting for stone                      Abraham Verghese
26.The confession                       `John Grisham
27.The black Echo                       Michael Connelly
28.The Help                                 Kathryn Stockett
29.A little princess                        Frances hodgson burnett - children novel - classic- give it a try
30.Deception Point                       Dan Brown

These are some of the books that really impressed me and i am able to fully recollect the experienceof the read.Will come up with more soon...Have a nice reading experience...

I recently saw this set of my fav books from my wordpress blog which i wrote in 2009  :

Books I read and liked (Mostly Novels) :

1.Harry Potter Series 

2.The God Father

3.Da vinci Code

4.The hobbits(Sort of prelude to  Lord of the rings)

5.Lord of the rings series

6.Jumpa Lahari

7.Five point someone(It was realy good)

8.3 Mistakes of my life

9.One night at the call center

10.The inscrutable Americans

11.Shock

12.Papilon

13.Angels and demons

14.Digital fortress

15.Chronicles of Narnia

16.Jim Corbet Omnibus(Stories abt hunting down man eaters )

17.Ruskin bond Short stories.

18.Man,Woman and Child

19.A Love Story

20.Kalki Selected Stories

21.A beautiful mind

22.Appointment with death

23.Death on the Nile

24.Mr.Sampath : The Printer of Malgudi

25.The Painter of Signs

26.Sleeping Murder

27.The Financial Expert

28.The World of Nagaraj

29.The dark room

30.Mutation

31.Men are from Mars Women are from Venus

32.GrandMother's Tale

33.The Complete short stories of Sherlock Holmes

34.While Reagan Slept

35.Thailand : Culture Shock !

36.USA : Culture Shock !

37.Murder in Mesopotamia

38.The second lady

39.Bangalore The Story of a City

40.A Tiger For Malgudi

41.The Fan Club

42.Shutter Island

43.Eaters of the dead

44.Mystic River

45.The Miracle

46.Roads to Mussoorie

47.Emma

48.Pride and Prejudice  (Men will be bored to death by these two books, Emma and this one.)

49.Ancient Promises

50.Rani

51.Accidents like love and mariage

52.Afterwards

53.Aghora : At the Left Hand of God

54.Happy Death Day

55.Visits From The Afterlife : The Truth About Ghosts, Spirits, Hauntings and Reunions with lost loved ones.

56.Life of pi

What to pack for delivery

If U are reading this U r pregnant or thinking about getting pregnant...Congratuations!!!!!!!

First thing you have to do is check out your hospital rooms and see what kind of room suits you best

Now pack a bag with all the things you might need...

# Your medical file,hospital ID etc
#  Insurance details...(Call your insurance person and confirm the details ahead)
#  Packs of napkins sanitary napkins you use
#  Tooth brush,paste,soap,Tissue, deodorant,Your regular make up stuff(People might visit you there) and hand sanitizer
#  Blanket
#  Some magazines, some music...(True you 'll be bone tired after birth but it's good to have something...)
# comfortable clothes to get into when you are out of hospital stuff...Think and pack this one...You should          
   be comfortable in it.It should be easy to put on.And should look good in pictures...
#  Nursing bras, breast pads and feeding night wear.
# Check with your hospital as to what all the baby gets in a package...
# Baby blanket (Remember that even when it is comfortable temperature for aduts, your baby might feel cold because he/she is used to a really warm temperature within you...most infants cease crying when put in a nice balanket and wrap)
#Baby diapers(Again check with your hospital....Even if you are planning to use nappies,you might want to use diapers until you leave the hospital )
#Wet wipes or you may alternatively use cotton balls soaked in warm water to clean the baby before diaper change.
#Baby towels and soap,powder(again u have to discuss this with the hospital..nowadays many doctors recommend no powder to babies),lotion etc
# Baby dress(Again depending on the expected temperature you  might want to just go with a single piece coverall dress or add to it a baby sweater and socks.
#Baby Bed (This one helps to easily carry around the baby...especially useful for new fathers who want to hold the baby but are scared)
#Wrap Sheets(If  you do not know how to wrap a baby in a wrap sheet ask someone from the hospital to show you how and take a video of it)
#Camera
#Chocolates and sweets
#Baby on board sticker for your car
#Your lucky charm(If you have any)
# Small ziploc pouch if you want to retain your amblical cord for religious or sentiment reasons.(personally i don't see the appeal but some people retain it)
#Don't throw your baby's hospital tag...Keep it safe for her baby box...


I 'll soon come up with a list of what all things you have to buy for the baby before he/she comes home

You talk to one of your old friends after a long time, u realise how much u have changed.I spoke to a friend recently after a long long time.After talking i started thinking abt our conversation.She said she could not believe that there was some hesitation in my voice initially while i was confirming her identity.Yeah i used to almost never hesitate and i have grown up enough to understand that i might be disturbing this person and to show some hesitation in my voice so as to let this person know i understand i might be disturbing...And she said how it was rainy and we both loved this weather...It hit me hard...I used to love rain.I used to get wet in rain like i am crazy.Now i hate it.I see it like i can’t dry the clothes easily, my daughter loves to play outdoor and this stupid rain is spoiling it for her..Boy have I changed or wat?These are just the two things i picked up from our conversation.But if i sit to think there comes so many things.I used to hate movies.I was not allowed english movies.No english novels either.Now i am a big time movie fan and a novel junkie.I used to think women who tak about women rights are crazy and have nothing better to do..after all my father treated my mother nicely rt...No more i think like that....women rights can solve many issues.I used to be like nicey nice to everyone.I thought that was polite.Somehow now i think it is dumb.I now think i just have to be myself.I used to hate to talk back to elders and used to think that elders know better...Now i just think elders don’t know anything and they have a really inflated ego and I have to talk back so they get certain facts straight...I used to be like if some guy tries to flirt, beware of that guy and report to mom...now if some guy tries to flirt, it’s yeah really was that a very slight subtle hint of flirt there, hmmm good..this new diet must be working....I used to think kids playing together in one kid’s house is the best part of growing up at all....now i see a  dozen kids strom in my door, i think  oooooops have i hid the tv remote...oh give them something to eat they will pause wrecking the home...phone call and a mom asks if her kid is here and she hopes it’s not too much trouble...not at all...mental head banging.I used to think relatives are the best part of my life.Now it  has come down  to worrying about  what these  people think about me and my household....And guess what I have grown up into adullt.I didn’t know this is what growing up does to you until it has actually happened...

Getting the house company ready...

Getting the house company ready...

I used to be like this :

My house is never company ready.

If anyone calls me telling they are visiting, depending upon the time i have i work on the house and shine it.

Feel like a fraud if someone compliments me on my house keeping skills

I used to not ike the idea of guests very much.

Guests = work.

House work = real hard work & exhausting

I used to feel envious of people who keep their house company ready all the time.

I used to think there must be some secret and may be she has something like obsessive cleaning disorder.

Now :

My house is company ready early in the morning.

My daughter and me too are company ready (if we don't have spl reasons not to then we wait)

I love having guests.

I don't expect me to call ahead like i am some kind of fancy restaurant

I actually enjoy when complimented

Guests = fun

House work = no big deal....part of life

Now i know the secret...

I 'll share the secret soon...but if u r looking for stuff like this i think u don't want to now the secret rt away...you want to know how to get the house company ready in an hour or two....

Today i 'll say that...

You are having guests :

Don't panic

1.walk through your house once :- pick up papers...any paper,newspaper,bills,covers,wrappers

put them where they belong...newspapers rack or bills file or dustbin

2.now walk again :- pick up all the clothes...

dirty clothes - laundry bins

wet clothes, wet towels - drying line

dry clean clothes - inside the wardrobe...fold the clothes before putting them in.

* clothes that needed to be folded always drag you down.it won't look good outside and to go in the wardrobe they must be folded which is time consuming...so better tackle dry clothes asap always.

Kitchen clothes - These have a unique way of accumulating in the kitchen.So have a place and stuff them away...just have two out and fold them.

Kids clothes:- laundry bin or in the wardrobe..

To be ironed :- goes to the ironing bin...a big carry bag always works for me.

3.Toilet :- Figure out which bathroom u r going to let the guest use

Go in there.

Remove anything unwanted

just scrub the toilet bowl with a brush(no harpic nothing just brush)

flush it

scrub the wash basin

rinse

wipe the mirror

Check if the freshener is working

4.Living room :- remove all odd things especially from the sofa

pull the sofa cover neatly

fluff the cushions

if you have time wipe down the window sill,TV and speakers...just a fast one

5.Dining Table :- remove left overs from previous meal

deal with it --- fridge or dustbin

fast wipe

6.Bed :- Remove things

fold blankets

stretch the sheets

keep everything in place

7.Kitchen :- There's n't much you can do here

clean the stove and the kitchen work table

8.you :- Dress yourself up

9.Kids :- Dress the kids up

10.Now pick your kids' toys...keep it the last step.

Earth quake - Tremors

Tremors was felt in bangalore too

Yeah the bed me and my toddler were lying down shaked a lot and it was just a bit difficut to walk in a straight line...like some kind of dizziness...and nothing more...Obviously litte more impact might have been felt in chennai...but people what is the need to immediately update in FB? that u felt the tremors...wud these peope who update like this feel more happy if they happened to have a real earthquake? I am just not sure...How many of them has an emergency bag or kit packed???How many of them know the earthquake dril??Do they really know that if you are in a higher floor of a high building when an earthquake starts your best chance is to just get under a table or something...coz before you even reach down the building might come down and getting to a clear area(without building,trees or electrical post) is more difficult in that 11 or 12 seconds time frame...I saw in the TV that many companies have sent their employees downstairs...is it like we don't want any bodies here..... just go out and die....Go out stand right in front of the building where we r 100% sure u will get hit....